Fringing and Joplin

I guess since I can remember I have been trying to identity myself. Who am I? Where do I belong?  Who do I belong with? Why does it even matter (Fuck you society)

I have been a part of many groups, clicks, and other poorly identified sub-groups. In in 38+ years I have always tethered on the outer edge..
never really belonging just fringing...

curly red head baby surviving trailer park life,
catholic school girl wanna be
girl scout (badge earner)
big hair and neon (sorry ozone)
tinted windows and sub woofers (Can you say Keith Sweat),
student (again and again and one more time)
traveler (South Dakota loves me)
drug addict (and sharer to those in need and stop peeing on my doorstep)
drug dealers are us (I am sure I held some sort of high ranking position)
friend
girlfriend
lover
mistress
buddy (hey buddy)
vegetarian (cheese is your friend; can also be your enemy)
hippie (weekend warrior)
Dead Head (that is for life)

Victim (but that is a secret)

MOM (still hanging in there)

I do the things I am supposed to do. (Mostly)  and WHY are they staring? (Aren't they?) WHY are they questioning? (Giving Advice ?!?)


I ask him if he saw them (he always shakes his head no, trying to make me not feel crazy or maybe he means no)
I ask if he is embarrassed (always no, but I see the sad look, or do I? Maybe he is normal, but I'm no judge)


Maybe I am delusional (Walking around wide awake as the world sleeps)...I am certainly not sane..but not insane? Timothy Leary could have never predicted this!

So here I am; almost 40.

I have nothing physical.
Meaningless furnishings and LCD bliss
No 401
Very little 411
No hope of retiring into Emerson's world (oh to be on Walden Pond)

I have the love of a boy
grasping manhood
grasping at straws to identify himself
(thank you vicious and beautiful circle of life)

I have no advice
and the
blank stares
keep coming

I still do not belong
and that's
Kool (and the gang)

And then there are those times
when I do not care and
I will listen to Janis Joplin
no matter how cliche

CBR....Barefoot by the Cherry Tree

Watch "2012/12/16 - Chris Robinson Brotherhood, "Barefoot By the Cherry Tree", GAMH, SF, CA (cut)" on YouTube

Immersion

Lately i have become a tv and movie junkie......i mean i am addicted.....got to look at larger picture.....perhaps immersing myself to not deal with my life...........which is not really a shitty life......change! Why is it so hard?

Cool history

http://nprfreshair.tumblr.com/post/36671525520/ovadiaandsons-louis-armstrong-plays-for-his

A drunken problem

The sound Sn....snake snap snag

Supporting local business again

Loving Mother's Earth Brewery.  This is my favorite...Sisters of the Moon

Where is Kerouac

Where is Kerouac

Holding my hand

Saying let's just

Hit the road

Waning down the Mississippi

Through farms

And fields

And swamps

I need all those

Interesting

ORDINARY

People

Trying to make

It in this

Harsh reality

We call the hum-drum

You know?

The one THEY

Say we can

CHANGE

If only we try

Memories

For all the unrighteousness

standing within me

I have nothing but

(mis)use for memories

Quaking in my recesses

and if I had a dream

I would hang with Dylan

and uncover the secrets

retracing Siddhartha to that

final moment on the banks

gentle fury rushing by

cool and

refreshing and sinister  

Henry VIII Webquest

I created this Webquest for a class.  This is a follow up to my Henry VIII timeline.

Sam Adams Latitude 48 IPA

This is a great IPA.....Get one!

Poor Kilo

This is my 3 year old lab, KILO.  He decided he needed to sit right beside me on the couch.  He looks so sad...but he just realized that I had not petted him in the last ten minutes.

Henry VIII Wives and Issue

I had to create a timeline using Dipity for a class that I am taking.  I chose the topic of Henry VIII, his wives, and his issue (including bastard children).  . 

Henry VIII Wives and Issue on Dipity.

Support local business

We should all support local business....I started by supporting Mother Earth's Brewery

My First Screencast

Today, after many attempts I created my first screen-cast using Debut Video Capture Software.  I was nervous at first.  I do not even like the sound of my own voice.  It is not the most high-tech video; however I am proud of it.  It contains a straight-forward set of instructions on creating a header and footer in a word document. I know with time, my skills will improve, and hopefully I will be able to use this technology in Distance Education courses. 

My skin has

crawled all night

I have shaken like an addict

itched like a detoxer

and slept sporadically

Imaginary men stationed

at my bed side with

arms crossed

sweat pouring down

each of us

Only eroticism

would calm me down

it was an

illusion

figments of the past

pieces of the future

just beyond my reach

I am

A working class

hero with

nothing to

see (blind or oblivious)

I only know

what is

spoken to me

Something went

terribly wrong in

the world today

and yet who notices

or cares

or sees the affects

and I lay here

Disappointed

Alone

Suffering

Surviving

Dying

Ripped into

particles

That only you

can see

Do you see me floating?

I just went under your

neurons.

You were

suppose to sniff

Now I cannot even

live in your brain

I am stuck in this

weed (not a bad thing)

waiting

on a dog to piss.

Death by squirting

I have thought of you

the night through

not knowing why

only that my senses are

tingles

splayed open

for your defining

I can see

us at a drum circle

our souls beating

and swaying to the

same rhythm

how cool to be in

a circle

joints going

round and round

long hair braids and beads

Lennon wailing

"Come together"

and we do

and we are

Homless

I saw the news

the homeless people

and I thought

would they trade places with me?

Debt and regular bills alike

or are they lucky

to be without these worries?

But while I sleep

in my comfortable bed

I know they would too;

as I struggle to pay bills

do they want that burden?

Yes..security

for the unsecure

Do I want to

live in a tent

on the front lawn

of the state building?

No and

nor do they

So why?

I salute these people

with no name

just faces

of hunger and worry

and I wonder

would that be better

than bills and taxes

and the dreaded job?

Who would trade with me?

With all the worry and heartache

that goes along

with being society;

not fighting the man.

Tonight I may

sleep in a tent

just to trade places

and understand the injustices

Hello and Goodbye

Touching you

Pheromones liberate

Inhaled delightfully.

"Pardon, do I

necessitate your acquaintance?"

"In what way?"

"The way that

I understand all people"

The potential attraction

is crushing

yet we

saunter away

covered in sensation

Growing up

I have already

Ruined that

rotation I swore

would shatter

The vision came

while tossing in

the sheets that

gnashed my

legs as though

they were

soft snakes

taunting me

He does

not need

love

hugs

my hand

or intellect

I have educated

him in the

pastimes of

Loneliness

Solitude

and the life

of extroverts

My pain and past

is now his

to carry on to the

next generation

like Celtic spirals

spinning without

halting